How to Become a Certified Nigger



Follow these easy steps and YOU too can be a certified nigger:

1. Slink around, shufflling your feet and bobbing your neck like the lazy bum you are.

2. Walk down the middle of the street because you don't know what a sidewalk is.

3. Hang out at carwashes and mini-marts because everybody knows these are the best places to be a dope, I mean dope.

4. If you're a nigger bitch, shit 3 nigger babies into the world before 17 years of age. This assures that welfare money will support you so your cool nigger men have more time to do crimes. Oh yes,make sure each nigger baby has a different father, ho.

5. Bastardize the english language in the name of nigger culture. Make sure that several terms have multiple meanings and others have ambiguous meanings and that only 50% of nigger words are evencomplete words. Real niggers will know what you're trying to say.

6. As a culture, make sure there are always more bucks in prison than in college at any given time.

7. Hang out in packs of 10 to 15 and make sure everyone acts as annoying as possible. This helps to promote nigger individuality.

8. Always talk loud enough so everyone in the 'hood can fucking here you, and if they are niggers, they will know what your saying, bru.

9. Wear clothes that are 10 sizes too big making sure the pants hang off your ass. Also huge pants facilitate stealing (let me translate that: "it be easier to lift dat 'box at the Kmart, homes"). If you have to hold them up while you walk, it only looks badder.

10. Park at least 5 junk cars in your yard being careful not to use the driveway. It's ok to abandon them in the street as long as it'sin front of someone else's crib.

11. Exaggerate every motion, every tonal inflection and grab your dick alot.

12. Have red carpet, blue walls, brass and overstuffed furnishings (all rented), purple bathrooms and keep all windows covered so thatno light can enter and no cops can see in while you...

13. Do drugs, sell drugs, make look alike drugs.

14. Turn your backyard into a junk yard. If you don't have a backyard, turn yo momma's into a junk yard. Eliminate every blade of grass.

15. Travel around, leaching off relatives, friends, salvation armies. Abandon your children with them also.

16. Smack your kids, yell at them alot, make them feel less than human and that they have no future, which they don't because they are niggers like you.

17. Drink cheap wine and malt liquor every day forgetting that "malt liquor" is just fortified cheap beer.

18. If your a nigger buck, fuck anything that moves, no matter how ugly she is. After two eight-balls, even the ugliest, fattest nigger bitch will look good.

19. Be charitable and covet fat, ugly white chicks, after all, they are niggers too. They can't help being so undesirable to white men that they have to fraternize with black dudes on a 20/20 trip. And white ho's are a special trophy too, especially the not so uglyones.

20. Spray paint everything in sight with scribbles that mean nothing to anyone but mean nigger expression to fellow niggers exceptniggers from another hood will prolly try to kill you for traipsing on they turf, but, way you knowm wu am sa'in' homes? Man, tha some salt, she-it, huh huh, straight up motherfucker!

21. Use the term "motherfucker" in every sentence. It's one of the most versatile words in the nigger language, being a noun, verb, adjective and complete mini sentence in event you run out of words.

22. Above all: ALWAYS BE COOL! That is the most important aspect of niggerdom (niggerdumb?). Being fly is the reason we do any of this trip! Being cool is more important than being intelligent (thatdon't help to get womens), adapting to the mundane protocols of society that help to build and sustain a nation ( 'cuz that be THEY trip, man,not r's). Being cool is better than having a good job (it's easier to push dope for the man, er I mean weez dope to do dope, uh) so flingburgers at Mcdonalds between jail sentences.


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