Is Birdman the Antichrist?

By John "Birdman" Bryant


I have always been a hellion. A somewhat reserved hellion, but nonetheless a hellion. In fact, the earliest nickname I remember acquiring was 'John Devil', given to me by the older brother of one of my childhood friends, 'Peeps' Peebles. (Peeps was probably upset by a mocking verse I made up about him, but then that's what hellions do, do they not?)

Because I have been an atheist since I was eleven years old, that would seem to suggest that I meet the primary qualification for being the Antichrist. But exactly the opposite can also be argued, because how can one be the Antichrist if one doesn't believe in the Christ? In fact, not only do I not believe that Jesus was the Christ (ie, 'Christos', the 'Anointed One', ie, The One with An-Oint-ment on his greasy little head), but I don't even believe that Jesus was a real person, but instead was just one version of a myth that has existed in almost 20 different cultures, and whose origin is lost in the mists of time. That, of course, could be evidence for the ultimate truth of the myth, or at least that it had an element of truth to it; but it could also simply be the story which every culture possesses of The Hero who sacrifices himself for The Tribe, and which is intended to inspire heroism in others -- a necessity if The Tribe is not to vanish.

Now I will admit that I don't know much about the concept of the Antichrist, or evil, or devils, or anything of the sort. But it's a fact that there have been people calling me the Antichrist ever since I published my little book, The Most Powerful Idea Ever Discovered, which was my first excursion -- and probably my most important one -- into secular -- ie, 'Godless' -- morality. Since that time I have written at length on this vital topic, to the extent that I now call myself a moralist. But religious folks cannot conceive of morality that is established independent of God, so their natural reaction is to call anyone who tries to do it the Antichrist.

To make things a little clearer, let me summarize my view of Christianity. On the positive side, the story of Jesus has been an inspiration to me, not because he 'died for our sins' (a completely bullshittical notion), but because he demonstrated the power of love (or passive resistance or obligation, however you want to interpret it). Please note that I am not talking about some fuzzy-brained notion bruited about by people who get zonked on pot, but rather a very powerful notion that plays a major role in human relationships. It is this notion of power -- tangible, usable power -- that I discuss at length in Most Powerful Idea. It is my contention that most people don't have the vaguest notion of the power of Christianity, but when they actually follow its dictates -- as they often will when they get 'born again' -- this power accrues to them naturally, and they are so overwhelmed that they think it is an act of God.

But if I have correctly analyzed the power of Christianity, I have to point out that it is this very thing which makes people call me the Antichrist, because I am cutting the apron strings which have tied morality to God, and in doing so, I am undercutting God's status. The religionists can't have this, because it undercuts their favorite mythology, which I like to call Christinanity. If people understood my teachings, it would sweep away Christianity like an old dust pile. And that, needless to say, is the Antichrist's job description. No wonder people call me names!

Something that is important to understand about Christianity is that the Church has had a long history of opposing and suppressing knowledge. It began of course with the condemnation of Adam and Eve for eating the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, but it has continued with the suppression of Biblical translations into the common language, the treatment of Galileo, the establishment of the Index Librorum Prohibitorum, the burning of the Aztec codices, the suppression of the real old-time religions (wicca, Druidism, etc), the Scopes 'monkey' trial, and many other events too numerous to mention. Indeed, the Biblical story of the angel Lucifer, who became Satan, is yet another illustration; for 'Lucifer' means 'Light Bearer', or 'bearer of enlightenment', a fact which can lead to no other conclusion than that the Christian Devil is none other than knowledge itself. Thus when someone like me comes along with the intent of enlightening others, it is a given that the Church and its parrots will oppose it, and will deem the light bearer an Antichrist.

In view of the Church's hostility to knowledge, it is easy to understand why the Illuminati and Freemasons have come to be regarded by many Christians as organizations of evil. (Whether they are actually evil in some sense is another question entirely.) In the case of the Illuminati, the protagonists regarded themselves as 'illuminated ones' who possessed special knowledge intended to 'save the world'. In the case of the Freemasons, this was an organization intended to protect genuine secret knowledge (the secrets of constructing buildings), and which seems to have gradually become a haven for Enlightenment types who used the organization to meet and work with others of their kind. (Today it is merely a fraternal organization without special significance beyond helping the Bruthas to pad their pockets, at least as far as I can determine.) The point is that both organizations were once repositories of 'enlightenment', and this was quite enuf to turn the Church against them.

Now what I have given you so far are the substantive reasons for my being considered the Antichrist. But there are some silly reasons, too, and at least some of these have been cited by my accusers as 'proof' against me. Here they are:

* I currently have a Post Office box with the number 66683.

* For many years I lived at a condo whose street number was 666. The condo had been built by Jews, and had many Jewish residents.

* For some of those years I had a girlfriend whose street number was 333, and she herself was Jewish.

* On a personal level I like Jews, and have always done so.

* I have an insufficient distaste for homosexuals

* (But on the other hand) I am a 'bigot', 'hater', 'antisemite', and 'racist'.

* I come from a Southern slaveholding family

* I have 'pornography' on my website.

* I have been compared to Nietzsche, the man who declared that "God is dead".

* I am a spiritualist; hence I am 'misleading' people from the True Religion

* I have insulted God in the most obscene way possible (See "12 Irrefutable Reasons Why God Does Not Exist" in the Religion section of my website)

* I have made fun of God, Christianity and religion generally in the most offensive possible way in my book Religion, Science and Superstition 

* I have the temerity to think I am doing "God's work" -- or rather the atheistic equivalent

And there you have it, folks -- a full-blown self-indictment. But does it prove I'm the Antichrist? I'm afraid I will have to leave it up to you to decide.



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